The Emptiness Inside
by IhateyouDon'tleaveme
Summary: Mitchie is desperately in love with Alex and she hides her feelings well but when she's alone it can all get too much. AU Alex/Mitchie
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: sooo this is my first try at a story, I'm sorry if this is really depressing but it will get going. I just want to try with this first chapter and I'll see how it goes. If you read this then thanks! Review if you want to. **

It's wrong. The emptiness is unexplained. I touch but I feel nothing. I look but I see nothing. I love but I love the nothing. The dark. The black. I'm consumed. I'm lost why don't you try and find me? I'm at sea why don't you try and save me? There's a storm inside but you're at the eye of it. Your beauty is like a tornado, I marvel at it then it sucks me in and I am destroyed by it. Do you feel? Do you see? The dark. The black. Its nothing to you.

This is what its been like since I first saw you. I'd be lying if I said it happened immediately, it crept up on me like a snake. Unexpected but powerful. Since you first walked into my eighth grade math class, I knew it would never be the same.

**Short I know, sorry but like I said I just want to try this out. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Now the story really starts. I own nothing but the plot. Also I know that later on I say that Alex has green eyes and I know that in reality she has brown eyes but her having green eyes is just something that makes this a little more personal to me, sorry. Review if you like it, thank youuuu. **

1. Here we go again.

"Miiiitch, time to get up!"urgh. I roll over onto my front and pretend I don't hear her, maybe she'll think I'm sick and leave me alone. I try and fall back to sleep but my hopes of her giving up are short lived as I hear my mother storming up the stairs. Next thing I know my door is forcefully swung open and my mom is standing at the foot of my bed with her hands on her hips. Shit. She looks pissed.

"Mitch, it's the first day of school, get your ass dressed _now_ because if you miss the bus I swear to God you are walking to school" I answer with a muffled ok as my face is still pinned against my pillow, making no effort to wake up.

"How can you be so tiered all you did this holiday was stay in your room and sleep!" there was some truth in what she was saying I _did _stay in my room all holiday but I was definitely not sleeping. I couldn't sleep, my brain wouldn't allow it. The constant stream of thoughts kept me awake. Thoughts of Alex.

"I'm being serious, up NOW" with a groan I force my self out of bed and give her a sarcastic smile. "Happy?"

"Completely" she says with a fake smile of her own as she exits my room.

I avoid my mirror as I walk to my closet and throw on the first thing I see, there is no point in making an effort. Its not like _she _will pay any attention to what I'm wearing anyway. She's not like me. She doesn't analyze my every detail. She doesn't memorize every word I say.

I slump over to my bathroom and brush my teeth and then look in the mirror. The bags under my eyes were getting increasingly darker and the sleepless night and lack of sunlight were not exactly doing wonders for my skin but like I said there's no point in making an effort. With a huff I walk out my bedroom door and dread the day to come.

I walk into homeroom with my head down hoping she won't notice me but of course, she does. She immediately runs up to me and engulfs me in a hug. Her smell. It hits me like a ton of bricks and intoxicates my whole being. At first I freeze up but then I let my self go and I cling onto her like my life depends on it, for a minute I feel complete. My heart sinks a little as I feel her pull away. She looks at me with her gorgeous, green eyes and a smile from ear to ear that makes my heart beat like a mad women. "I can't believe I haven't seen you in 4 weeks! It feels like forever!" ha, she had no idea, everyday without her felt like an eternity. Usually we would of definitely seen each other but Alex is originally from England and she spent the holidays with her family over there.

"I know, I missed you" I said trying to hide the depth of pain that that sentence really held.

"I missed you _sooooooooo_ much" she exclaims playfully, I can't help but chuckle at how cute she is. She takes my hand, my fingers burn at the touch, and drags me to our seats. We always sat next to each other whenever we had a lesson together, which both fortunately and unfortunately for me, was often. Fortunately because I hated being away from her and in lessons where I wasn't with her I was just waiting for lessons I was with her anyway and unfortunately because it was another hour of hiding my feelings and trying not to do anything stupid. I sit at my desk and focus on the teacher, resisting the urge to turn my head and study every feature of her perfect face. The uncomfortable ache in the pit of my stomach is back. It used to be butterflies, playful and sweet, but even they have grown tiered now. I inhale deeply and lay my head on the desk. I close my eyes and focus on the ache in my body. The ache that I knew I would inevitably feel ever since she first walked into my life two years ago….


	3. Chapter 3

**This starts with a flashback of how they met, my friend begged me to write another chapter so yea I'm sorry for updating so fast and if it's a little rushed. pleaseeee review if you like it, thanks. **

2. The first and last day.

_I walked into my math room and instinctively sat at the back of the classroom. I hate math. Not because I don't understand it but because it's so dull. There's no room for creativity in math. It's right or it's wrong, It's black or it's white. I put my head on the desk and close my eyes. Hopefully this lesson will go quick. I begin to let my mind wander._

_I'm soon pulled out of my day dreaming by Mr. Jackson. _

"_Mitchie, head up" I answer with a nod and squinted eyes, still burning from the sudden exposure of light. I keep my head up but close my eyes, I mean he never said anything about having open eyes he just wanted my head up. I'm almost instantly back to my dazed state of day dreaming when I hear the door open._

"_Ah you must be Alex, erm let me see, there's a spare seat at the back there" I opened my eyes and look at the subject of his distraction. _

_My mind became clouded, all I could focus on was her. The rest of the class seemed to disappear. _

_She gave Mr. Jackson a shy nod and made her way to the back. As she walked towards me my mouth became dry. What was happening? I'm never speechless, but all of sudden with this captivating beauty sitting down next to me I can't seem to string together a coherent sentence. _

_I swallowed hard and shook my head slightly in an attempt to clear my hazy mind._

"_Um, hi" I offered with a smile. _

"_Hi, I'm Alex. I'm new here" I noticed she had a British accent. _

"_Yea I can tell" I said with a raised eyebrow, earing a small laugh. We never really had anyone interesting in our school so it was a nice change to have someone with an interesting back-story who just so happened to be stunning as well. _

"_So I'm guessing you just moved here fr.." _

"_Mitchie, Alex don't make me separate you two" Mr. Jackson interrupted._

_I don't know why but I felt a slight wave of disappointment come over me at the thought of her sitting next to someone else. I wanted to know more about her. _

_I didn't risk it though, I just gave him an apologetic look and hesitantly looked over at her. She was looking forward and I couldn't help but stare in awe. She was even more beautiful up close. I began to study everything about her. Her green eyes, bright and inviting. I followed the line of her nose with my eyes until they landed on her lips. Butterflies started to play around in my stomach. She turned her head and looked at me. Shit. Well don't I look like a creep. I quickly turned my head and tried my hardest to keep looking forward, I couldn't see what was on the board, I couldn't even hear what Mr. Jackson was saying. Although my eyes were open they felt closed, my vision had become veiled with the image of her, my mind foggy from her delicious sent. I strained to look forward for what felt like an eternity until eventually the bell rang. Thank god. I left the room as quickly as I could. I brushed past her on the way and my arm continued to tingle from where it had touched hers as I made my way down the hall. I walked into the toilet and sat down on the lid. I put my head between my hands and I knew. I knew that I was in for hell. _

It's funny to think that at the beginning I truly believed that I just had a crush on Alex Russo. I mean I always knew I was in for trouble because at the time no one knew I was gay and I thought by having a crush on a girl everyone would find out and I would be bullied profusely. Seriously a crush was my biggest worry. How I wish that could still be true. I would give anything to be back in the "crush phase". The phase where you get excited to see them because you enjoy the butterflies you get when your around them, when they don't consume your every thought and when you can actually sleep at night because the thought of them makes you happy and content. I miss that. After we were sat next to each other in math class we became fast friends, soon becoming in separable, not helping my situation at all. At first my friends were pissed because they felt like I was ditching them but eventually we all just hung out together and they got over the fact that when I was with Alex all my attention would be payed to her.

The bell for lunch went and I realized I'd spent the whole of history just thinking. Oh well, there couldn't be anything _that_ important on the first day back.

I walk into the cafeteria and of course my eyes find her straight away, I don't even have to try anymore. My Alex radar is pretty well exercised by now. She gestures for me to come over and I make my way to her. She's sitting at our usual table with a few of our friends but the seat next to her is saved for me, as it always is.

"Are you not going to eat anything?'' she asked, an under tone of worry to her voice.

"Well I would of grabbed something but as soon as I walked in _somebody _waved at me to come over.." I say sarcastically, she nudges me playfully and then crosses her arms over her chest and pouts. She looks adorable, playing around like this almost makes me forget the hurt that's inside, almost. I laugh at her pretend mood. "I'm just kidding, I'm not hungry" I say poking her arm. At that she smiles and continues to eat. In all honesty I don't eat much anymore, if I do eat it just feels like a stranger in my body. It feels wrong. There's no room for anything else. The pain fills me up enough.

I start a random conversation with one of my closest friends, Nick. I'm lulled into the ignorance of it all. In truth ignorance is the wrong word, it's not that they don't want to know, it's that I don't let them in. They know something has changed within me; it's obvious to see. I just bottle my feelings because there my feelings, mine. The pain, the sadness, there all I have.

**Yea so I hope you like it.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, it really means a lot to me! This chapter will be a deeper look into Mitch's mind and Mitchie's friends start to get concerned about her. Something big is going to happen in the next chapter. As always review pleaseeee. i hope you enjoy it. **

4. My Wasted Heart

Riding along the highway at night is my favorite thing to do. It reminds me of the night sky, miraculous and hypnotizing. Each headlight a dazzlingly star. Thousands of people surround you, people with their own problems and troubles. I find great comfort in that thought, it soothes my own pain knowing that other people have their own struggles but still carry on. Still drive through the endless highway sky.

I pull up at my destination and get out of the car. I found this place about four months after meeting Alex. It was my own place of serenity and peace. In reality it was just a field but to me it was a heavenly retreat. A distraction and a place to think. I sit down on the grass and hug my knees to my chest.

My mind starts to roam and naturally it goes straight to Alex. She knows I like her, like I said it's obvious, but she's completely oblivious to just how deep it runs within me. To her my mood is just something I've always had, never really asking the true cause of it. She was unaware of the sleepless nights and how my sole ached. I've debated telling her I love her many times but I've always opted out of it. Too scared to hear the actual words from her. Four words that could end my being right on the spot "I don't want you" even thinking about her saying those words to my face made my heart sink. I know rejection is inevitable so I choose to keep my feelings hidden. Id rather go through the pain of having to be around her every day and the discomfort of her hugging me and touching me, than the absolute agony of not seeing her.

The next day I walk into the cafeteria and am surprised when I look over at our usual table and see that Alex isn't there. My best friend Caitlyn signals for me to come over so I make my way to the table and sit down next to her.

"Mitch, we need to talk" Caitlyn looks at me, her voice serious. I try to act casual "Sure what's up?"

"We were talking" she says gesturing at the rest of the group. "And were worried about you Mitch. None of us saw you over Winter break, you only smile when Alex is around and you look, I'm sorry to be mean, but you look awful" They were right. The not eating and the small amount of fresh air and sunlight I was getting were making me pale and thin. I looked ill. I felt ill.

"I'm fine" I mumble

"No your not! Don't lie to us! We love you Mitch, we only want what's best for you" Caitlyn replies.

"And what's that? What do you think is best?" I ask slightly more pissed off than intended.

"We think you should stop hanging around with Alex so much, being around her all the time is not helping. Maybe if you spend some time apart you can get over her" I don't know why but I'm furious. How dare they try and tell me what to do?

"Don't you think I know all this? I'm not an idiot! Being around her causes me pain, yes but not being around her would only make the pain 10 times worse!" I sate back, annoyance clear in my voice

"Mitch, chill" Miley says, probably shocked from how I'm reacting.

"Don't you understand?" I ask "I can't get over her, my wasted heart will love her until it stops beating and it kills me everyday knowing that the girl I love will never love me back" I say my voice slightly cracking at the end.

"Look we're sorry ok? We just want you to be happy and healthy and right now your not, its clear to see. We want to help you but you never let us in"

I know she's only trying to help but I can't help but be cold. She doesn't understand. No one does.

"Trust me you don't want to be let in here" I mutter.

"Urgh fine" Caitlyn says throwing her hands in the air "I give up"

"Cat" nick says, putting a hand on her shoulder and giving her a look to calm down.

"No this is bullshit" she says whilst standing up "I try to help her but she just pushes me away. I'm done trying." She walks out the cafeteria.

I watch her leave and my stomach drops. Now even my best friend doesn't want me.

"Don't worry she'll come around" Nick says placing his arm on the back of my chair.

I wouldn't blame her if she doesn't. I don't deserve people who care about me like she does. I think that's why deep down I push her away, I know I don't deserve Caitlyn or Nick or Alex for that matter. I deserve to be alone.

**If you have any suggestions or ways i could make this better don't hesitate to tell me in the reviews, thank you.**


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter has some Alex and Mitchie in it as I realize the last chapter had none. There's going to be some serious drama happening in later chapters so yea I hope you enjoy. Please review, they make me happy. Thank you.**

Alex was on her way over. I told her about what happened today at lunch, well I told her a very vague version of what happened. Basically I told her that me and Caitlyn had fallen out. I was still upset over it but I'm not really a crier so to anyone else I would look fine. All I've been thinking about is ways to make her forgive me. She wants me not to push her away but it's hard. It's my natural instinct now. It never used to be. It seems so long that I've been stuck in this toxic state of reclusiveness that I hardly remember a time when I was happy. Happy and free. Not weighed down by emotion or sheer sadness.

_Flashback_

"_Caitlyn hurry up! We're going to be late" I shout from the foot of the stairs. "Jeez I'm coming, it takes a while to look this good you know" She says with a grin as she runs down the stairs. I roll my eyes at her. We were meeting the guys at the mall to see a movie at 12 and it was now 11:55 and it takes at least 20 minutes to get there. "They always get mad at ME when were late so I'm sorry for not wanting to get told of by our friends" I say to her as we get into the back of my moms car. "Calm down women" she exclaims. I let out a sarcastic groan and cross my arms over my chest but cant help but laugh when Caitlyn copies me. I give her a playful nudge and we spent the rest of the car ride laughing at anything and everything. _

"_There you guys are" Miley says as we approach our friends. "Finally!" Nick adds. "Hey don't look at me, Caitlyn's the one that took forever to get ready!" I say, Caitlyn looked pissed that I was blaming her and she hit my arm. _

"_Ow! What? You did!" I say rubbing the spot she had just hit. _

"_I know, but I just like hitting you" she says a wide smile now replacing her frown. _

"_Come on, the movies going to be finished by the time we get in" Harper says walking away. We all follow her and I shove Caitlyn lightly as we walk. _

I miss those days. Being able to go out with my friends and just mess about, not concerned about anything or anyone. I haven't had fun in what feels like forever. Sure I smile and laugh still but it's not the same. There's still an emptiness inside. An air of misery that I can't get rid of.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a knock at the door; I run down stairs and open it. To my surprise it's not Alex, instead a very stern, serious Caitlyn meets my eyes.

"Hi" I say a little shakily "Hi. Can I come in?" I answer her by stepping aside, signaling that she can enter. She walks pasts me and makes her way upstairs and into my room. I follow behind her, I wonder what she wants. Id be lying if I said I wasn't a tiny bit nervous. She sat down on the bed and looked at me.

"Look I'm sorry, I know that I push you away. I honestly don't mean to, it's just become natural to me." I start, not really knowing why else should could be here if it wasn't to here me out.

"I get it, I know that this whole Alex thing is hard." Again with the "I know" It angers me so much when people say that, they don't know. How could they know how much fucking pain I'm in? I control my anger though, I don't want another argument with Caitlyn. "I think that you should tell her you love her, she will understand and you never know she could feel the same" I can't help but laugh. I was about to answer but someone else spoke before I could.

"You… you love me?" oh shit. I turn around and Alex is standing in the doorway of my bedroom.

"Maybe I should go.." Caitlyn says getting of the bed and quickly shuffling out the room. "Bye guys" she says awkwardly waving.

Alex is staring at me but not saying anything. Awkward silence fills the room and I feel like I can't breathe.

"Lex.. I… I" Words have escaped me, what the hell can I say?

"Well do you?" She asks, a tone to her voice that I can't read. I just stand there frozen. My heart was beating hard and fast in my chest and I was having trouble breathing.

"Damn it Mitch, tell me!" Well I could definitely read that tone. She was pissed.

I look down and whisper, "Yes, Yes I love you" I could feel the blood flow to my cheeks and they burned.

After what felt like hours of silence, I look up at her. Her mouth is slightly open and her eyes are wider than usual.

"I'm sorry" I say, finally looking her in the eyes, trying to suppress the tears welling in my eyes. Her expression relaxes but she still doesn't say anything, she just walks past me and then stops in the doorway. She turns around and faces me. "I'm sorry too" her face is confusing, she looks sad? She's looking me dead in the eyes and I try desperately to read them. I want to know what she's thinking.

But with that she leaves. Little did I know those were the last words she would say to me for a long time.

**Its kinda short but oh well..**


	6. Chapter 6

**So I've had the end of this chapter written out for a while. I hope you like it, please review if you do. Thank yooouuuu. Also thank you to everyone who favorited or followed, it makes me very happy :) By the way I know this is really short, sorry. **

The room felt cold. I didn't know what to do, should I run after her? Should I try to explain everything to her? No. Even if I wanted to move, my feet were frozen to the floor. I would have no idea what to say anyway, she would think I was crazy if she knew the truth. It would just push her further away if she knew how intense my feelings were. It would scare her. I sat down on the edge of my bed and try to comprehend what had just happened. I could feel my heart start to crack. She knew, Alex knew I was in love with her and all she said was "I'm sorry too" I didn't exactly expect her to say "I love you too" but "I'm sorry too"? What did that mean? Why was she sorry too? I know why I'm sorry, I've ruined are friendship. The thought of not talking to Alex sat heavy on my chest. I lay down and looked up at the celling. A single tear rolled down my cheek. I closed my eyes hoping sleep would take over soon. A thousand thoughts rushing through my head prevent me though. I picture your face. Just one kiss could bring me back to life, but your kisses are not for me there for someone else. The light in your eyes is enough to lead me through the dark, like a lighthouse saving me from the storm within myself. But your light is not mine to follow, its saved for someone else. So I guess I have no choice but to stay inside my mind, concealed from everyone else. Somewhere I get lost in the sea of my own musings and became overcome with sleep.

I woke up feeling weak and groggy. Every instinct told me to go back to sleep but my mom shouting at me to get ready for school derailed that plan. It took all my energy just to haul myself out of bed and get even slightly presentable. I felt frail and breakable. I didn't want to go to school; I didn't want to see her. I know that she will ignore me and I really doubt that my already crushed heart can take it.

I walk into homeroom with my head down, which seems to be a habit of mine these days. I look to the back and see Harper occupies my seat. I was expecting it but my heart still couldn't help but drop. Her gaze meets mine for a second but she quickly adverts her eyes and starts a conversation with Harper. I slump down in my seat and immediately put my head on the desk. Today was going to be a long day. All my lessons passed in a blur, I couldn't concentrate on anything. Too many thoughts and questions consumed my brain. Alex hasn't spoken to me all day. I caught her looking at me a few times but as soon as she caught me looking back she would look away. Each time my heart would break a little more.

As soon as the final bell rang I was relieved, finally I could go back home and not have to deal with the despair I felt every time Alex turned her face away from me. I could sleep and not have to think about anything...hopefully.

I was standing just outside of school waiting for the bus to arrive when I saw Alex and Harper waiting by the side of the road, God she looked beautiful. I miss her. I look down at my feet and try to stop thinking about her. I can't resist and I look up at her, wanting to study every part of her like I always do. Wanting to feel the familiar ache, which is now a comfort to me. Not speaking to her all day was like torture. I missed her smile. I missed her voice, most of all I missed her just looking at me. Not being able to stare into her ocean green eyes actually caused me physical pain. I begin to get lost in my thoughts. The screeching of tyres on tarmac brings me back to reality.

Then all of a sudden, my world stops.

Harper must have been joking around because she playfully nudged Alex but her being the clutz that she is, lost balance and began to fall into the road. Everything slowed down. The people around me disappeared. The car hurtling towards her seemed to slow too. A sudden burst off energy and strength washed over me. I sprinted the short distance that separated us and instinctively lunge forward and grab her. I throw her to pavement.

The last thing I remember Is Alex's horror-filled eyes staring back at me. Finally she's looking at me. A weak smile falls across my face.

Then I go blank.

**...Dun dun duuuuh, haha the next chapter might be in Alex's POV still haven't decided yet. Thank you for reading. **


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter was a bitch to write, I must have re written it about ten times. I wanted it to be perfect and I still don't know if I'm happy with it. Anyway I hope you enjoy it. Please review. **

**ALEX POV**

_Falling. Slow. Silence. I was in a trance; I couldn't register anything, not even the tarmac that was inevitably coming for me. I closed my eyes and braced for the impact but it didn't come._

_All of a sudden there was a rush. Everything sped up. Strong arms held me but shortly I felt their absence again. My head hit the hard concrete and for moment I was motionless. But I was quickly snapped out of my static state when I saw Mitchie. I rushed over to her and a look of horror falls over my face. I don't know what to do, I just look at her. Her lips twitch upwards in what looks like an attempted smile and then she is gone. Her eyes close and she lays motionless. _

I sit next to her hospital bed. Her parents had just left to go to the cafeteria and get some food. They asked if id like to join them but I told them I wasn't hungry. I was full, full with torment and distress. I also don't think that I would be able to take the guilt of looking them in the eyes and knowing. Knowing that it was because of me that she was here, lying deathly still. I reached out my hand and it was met with a comforting warmth as I grazed my knuckles over hers. I grabbed her hand and willed her to hold it back. But she didn't. A wave of pure despair washed over me and I finally let the tears that I had been holding back escape. A straggled whimper breaks free from my lips and I rest my forehead against her hand.

I should have told you. I was supposed to tell you.

I love you too.

It felt right. I say it out loud. It feels comfortable, my lips wrap around each word perfectly and I've never been more sure of anything in my life. Why couldn't I be so sure earlier? What trick was God playing? Why did it take seeing you lie lifeless on the road after just saving my life to realize that I loved you too? Why? I find my self cursing the God that I had not to long ago been praying too. How could I not have known? I look at her now. Her dark hair cascades perfectly past her shoulders and slightly curls at the end. My eyes scrutinize her every feature. Her tanned complexion, the slight bump of her nose. The spray of light freckles that she always hated but I loved. Finally they land on her pink, plump lips. A surge of yearning grips me and I lean in. I hover of her and one of my tears lands on her cheek, I lightly wipe it off and then ever so slightly press my lips against hers. I never imagined that they would be this soft, this inviting. I know its silly but I half expected her to kiss me back. I imagine her hands in my hair, pulling me closer. I pull back and picture her eyes staring back at me, brown and warm. Put she doesn't and they don't. Why couldn't I have told her?

"_Mitch?" I say as I walk up the stairs, we were way past the point in our friendship where I had to knock on the door. I knew her parents wouldn't be back from work yet and Mitchie never locks her front door, even if she is home alone. _

_I hear her talking to someone and recognize, as I get closer that that someone is Caitlyn. I decide to wait outside her bedroom door, not meaning to eavesdrop but my curious nature getting the better of me. "I know that this whole Alex thing is hard" Alex thing? "I think that you should tell her you love her" My brain doesn't register the next words. "Love her"? She loves me? What? I decided to make myself known, my curious nature getting the better of me… again._

"_You…you love me?" I can't help but stutter, I knew Mitchie liked me, it was obvious, but that's just it. I knew she _liked _me not _loved!_. Suddenly the room doesn't feel big enough for all three of us. Well two of us. Caitlyn must have left, I was too lost in thought to notice anything. "Lex..I…I" her struggling attempt to speak drags me from my thought bubble and back into reality. I need to know if it's true. "Well do you?" My voice comes out strange, almost weak. She's still just staring blankly at me. I need to know if it's true. I don't know what comes over me but something inside me demands to hear the words from her. "Damn it Mitch, tell me!" she looks down and I barley hear her whisper, "yes, yes I love you" my mouth falls open and I feel my eyes widen. I can't help it. She loves me? Why? For how long? So many questions swam around in my head. "I'm sorry," She says looking me in the eyes. For some reason I feel something inside me tingle as she looks at me. I need to leave, now. I need some time to think. I need some time away from her. I start to walk away but stop just before the door. I turn around and look at her once more "I'm sorry too" I say, not 100% sure what I was really sorry for. I'm sorry you love me? I'm sorry for leaving now? I'm sorry I have no idea what this feeling is that I'm feeling right now is? I don't know! It was the first thing that came to my mind, my jumbled, messed up mind. I turn back round and exit as quickly as I can. _

Why couldn't I have known then? How easily I could of said "I love you too" and walk up to her, place my hands on her hips, stare deeply into her chocolate eyes and capture her lips in a soft, sweet kiss. What if she doesn't wake up, what if the last thing I ever said to her was "I'm sorry too" At least I know what I'm sorry for now. I'm sorry that you love me because if you didn't love me you wouldn't have saved me. You wouldn't be lying in hospital struggling for life while I sit here selfishly breathing. It should be me laying in that bed not you, so I guess I really am sorry too.

**So yea, Alex loves Mitchie yay haha. Mixed feelings on how this chapter came out anyway thank you all for the reviews, follows and favorites they really do make me happy. Oh and happy new years everyone! Thank you. **


	8. Chapter 8

**So I was listening to say something by a great big world whilst writing this, which was honestly a mistake because that song makes me so emotional so I'm sorry if this chapter is just a big ball of feelings hahaha as always please review if you like it, thank you. Also thank you again for all the favorites and follows. **

**Alex POV**

This week has past in a blur. The only clear moments being the moments spent with her, which thanks to school were limited. My days consisted of waking up, going to school, pretending to focus, driving straight to the hospital, sitting by her bed side until visiting hours were up and then going home to attempt to sleep. I don't know how, or when, I became so… obsessed. I couldn't focus at school. She was my every thought; I missed her presence, what little of it there was anyway. I don't want her to wake up whilst I'm not there so my every free second was spent by her side, I think my parents silently understand as they don't protest to me coming home late or bring up the absence of sleep or homework I have been doing lately.

I lean forward and rest my heavy head on her arm, inhaling deeply. My mind is full of questions. I wonder how long she'll be like this; I wonder how long it'll be until I hear her voice again, until I can look into her eyes. What if she doesn't feel the same way I do? I know she said she loved me but I'm the reason she's in a coma. I'm the reason she almost isn't alive today; maybe she didn't want anything other than my friendship now. What if she doesn't even want that? What will I say to her when she finally does wake up anyway?

All of sudden I found myself in desperate need of air. I stand up and walk down the corridor till I reach the doors at the end. I push them open and am embraced by an enjoyable breeze.

I was hot, flustered and disoriented. In a matter of days Mitchie had become my whole world. I mean before we were close, we were best friends and I would of done anything for her but now; now I would truly do _anything _for her. If she asked me to walk of a cliff I happily would. Right now I would be elated at just her telling me to do anything. I long for her to wake up, but a tiny part of me also fears it. The thought of rejection plagued me. Every scenario I've made up in my head of how I'm going to tell her and when I'm going to tell her how I feel are controlled by an inane worry of her turning me down. When I look at her, lying on her hospital bed, peaceful, still and beautiful; I'm bewildered. How could I ever be enough to deserve her?

Abruptly, I find my self missing her. I make my way back to her room and see Connie, Mitchie's mother, is with her. Slightly disappointed, I start to turn away to give them some time but she stops me. "Alex honey, you can come in if you want to" she calls leaning through the open door of Mitchie's room. "Are you sure? I mean I don't mind just sitting outside again" I say pushing my possessive nature of Mitch to the side. "Don't be silly, you're like family! Anyway it'll be nice to have some company. Mitch doesn't speak much these days" she says laughing at her own joke, I let out a small laugh and walk over to the room. She did have a point though, ever since me and Mitch became best friends her family were nothing but lovely to me, I wonder if that'll continue when she becomes my girlfriend… IF! _If _she becomes my girlfriend, _if_. Shit, Alex get your head together. I mentally slap myself for getting carried away _and _for zoning out. I take the seat opposite Mitch and try to ignore the very intense expression Connie is currently giving me. I look around the room, feeling a little awkward. "So Alex, I can't help but notice you've been here a lot." She says, a slightly questioning tone to her voice. I looked down at my hands and answer, "well yea, I mean she's my best friend I just want to make sure she's ok" trying to play it cool.

"Sweetie, I'm not stupid. I've seen you in here. Holding her hand, stroking her hair. I _know_." She says emphasizing the last couple of words. I'm confused. "Know what?" I question.

"That look." Ok, I'm still confused but thankfully she carries on "You're in love with my daughter" Oh crap. Well, no more confusion now.

"Look con.." she brings her hand up in front of my face to stop me.

"Let me finish. I know that look, the look of love because it's the same look Mitch gives you" Wait, what? "I..I.." is all I can manage. I furrow my eyes brows and shake my head, trying to get a coherent thought together.

"Look Alex, my daughter has been in love with you for a long time. Although she's never told me herself, a mother just knows these things. In the beginning her permanent grin and bubbly behavior gave it away. I knew straight away that she had a crush, _until _one day she brought you round and I saw the way she looked at you, the way she acted around you. She looked at you like you were the sun, the moon, the sky and all the stars. I knew, I don't even know if she knew it then, but I did. She was in love." She says softly, chuckling at the end. I couldn't believe it. Everything inside me is tingling I swear I must be fucking glowing right now because I feel like I could save the world or lift a building. I'm smiling so much my cheeks hurt. Connie smiles gently at me and continues "But I have to admit the past couple of months I have been worrying. She barley speaks anymore, she stays in her room and does nothing all day. She's lost all hope in you ever loving her and the light in her eyes, the light that she holds for you, is slowly starting to burn out" At that my smile drops. I pray I'm not too late. I never want that light to go away. I feel awful. The moods? The random silences? The blank expressions? They were because of me. I really am stupid. _Why couldn't I have just known earlier? _ The question loops round and round in my head; it taunts me. "So when she wakes up you have to tell her you love her, please. The doctors here may be able to give her her life back but I'm relying on you to bring her soul and her heart back"

**I hope you liked it! **


	9. Chapter 9

**This chapter was kinda hard to write so yea I hope you enjoy it anyway. Again thank you for following/favoriting/reviewing and reading. You can follow me on twitter if you want Charlie_5390, I'm not that interesting but go crazy haha. Thank you! Review if you like it. **

"_The wait is long, my dream of you does not end" – Nuala O'faolain. _

"I can't wait to hold your hand and feel you holding mine back. I can't wait to look into your eyes and see the look that everyone seemed to notice but me. I can't wait to hear your voice again. I can't wait to tell you I love you and for you to say it back. I can't wait for your contagious laugh to fill my ears. Most of all I can't wait to kiss you and become intoxicated with the feeling of your soft lips against mine, I can't wait to become infatuated with everything that is you" I whisper into her ear; lying beside her on her tiny hospital bed. I snuggle in closely to her and gently kiss her cheek. I can't suppress the tiny tear that rolls down my cheek as I close my eyes. I need her to wake up. It's been three weeks and I miss her like my lungs would miss oxygen. Of course I'm not the only one that misses her. Caitlyn, Miley, Nick and Harper all miss her like crazy. Our conversations are never about anything else. Although sometimes I really wish they were, especially since I told them that I was in love with her.

"_Earth to Alex, Allllex" Harper says waving her hands in front of my face. I blink a couple of times and then focus my eyes on her. I was sat in the cafeteria and must have got lost in my own thoughts at some point and hadn't even noticed that she was trying to talk to me. "Hmmm" I mumble. "Why are you so tired?" She asks, it was easy to see that I was tired. The bags under my eyes being the most obvious give away._

"_I was at the hospital pretty late last night. I stayed past visiting hours," I say yawning. I was still pretty proud that I managed to do that, even though it really wasn't hard. In a hospital that busy they have more important things to be worrying about than random girls walking through the corridors at midnight. "Why are you at the hospital so much? I get that you to are like crazy close but your there every night! Even Caitlyn only goes once a week" Caitlyn stopped her conversation with Miley at the mention of her name. " I just...I" I might as well tell them. "I've kinda.. Maybe come to the realization.. That.." "That you're in love with her?" Caitlyn interrupts. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion "Yea, how did you.." "FINALLY" she exclaims throwing her hands in the air. "...What?" _

"_We've wanted you two to be together forever! She's so obviously in love with you" _

_Miley answers _

"_I never knew, not until the accident." I state, the familiar ache of self-hatred returning._

"_HOW could you not have known? Did you not see the way she looked at you? Anyone would think you we're the fricking messiah" she jokes. I laugh but still become saddened and the use of past tense, I didn't need telling that she didn't look at me anymore. Trust me I know. "Am I blind or something? Everybody seems to notice apart from me? Whyyy?" I cry, dragging out the last word like a spoilt child that didn't get what they want. _

"_Alex. Mitch is crazy about you. We always prayed that you'd finally realize you're in love with her too. You're perfect_ _for each other" Caitlyn adds in a calm tone. "That's funny, recently I've been praying for the same thing.." I say disgruntled from yet even more reminders of how ignorant I was before. _

"_Hey, what's wrong?" Nick asks, probably noticing the dejected look on my face._

"_I just hate myself for not realizing earlier, I mean it took her risking her life for me to make me realize that I was 100% irrevocably in love with her" I sigh. _

"_Hey, don't beat yourself up. The important thing is, is that you know now and you can spend the rest of your life making her happy." I liked that thought. "Annnd, might I add, you guys are going to make such a hot lesbian couple!" He blurts with a cheesy grin. I can't help but laugh at him; he always knows how to cheer me up. "Please not in front of me, I mean obviously I'm cool with it but yea keep the hot lesbian PDA to a low" Caitlyn says quoting Nick and rolling her eyes. I laugh and nod my head. "But seriously, I'm happy for you, you can finally bring our Mitchie back" She says with a warm smile. _

Looking up at the dull hospital ceiling I can't help but feel isolated and depressed. Its around midnight and it's at times like this that I just wish she could hear me. I speak to her and pretend she can, just to try and ease the ache of lonesomeness.

"Connie wants her Mitchie back; Caitlyn and the guys want their Mitchie back. But what about me? They are all relying on me to bring you back but in order to do that I need _my _Mitchie back. I need you Mitch. I need you so that I can love you. I need you so that I can start making up for the past four years that you have been in love with me and I was too stupid and blind to notice. I've spent three weeks in this desperate state of needing you and I am already loosing my mind. I can't imagine what four years of it would be like and I hope I never have to find out." My voice cracks at the end.

I entwine our fingers and let myself cry. "I miss you, so much. Mitchie please, please wake up" I sob out, my speech broken. I rest my head on her chest and plead to God; I desperately need her. I feel a weak hand squeeze my thumb. I look up and the sight that I'm met with stops my heart. A pair of loving, brown eyes bore into mine. I breathe in sharply and blink madly to make sure I'm not dreaming.

"A..A…Alex?" She croaks, just barley auditable.


	10. Chapter 10

**I was both excited and terrified to write this chapter, I'm not going to lie I googled a lot on what people are like when they get out of comas so if it's a little unbelievable or not correct I'm sorry, comas are confusing. Anyways I hope you guys like it, reviews make me happy. Thank you! By the way my friend really wanted this to be up as soon as possible so I didn't really look through it well because I'm tired, so sorry if there's any major mistakes. I was listening to A thousand years by Christina Perri when I wrote this so give it a listen if you want. It fits perfectly. **

**Mitchies POV**

"_A..A…Alex?" I chocked out, trying to clear my dazed mind. _

Am I dreaming? Alex's arm is draped over my waist and she's snuggled in close to my body. The whole left side of my body tingled from the contact. "Wh..what are you doing?" I rasped. My throat was dry and I felt incredibly tired. I look into her eyes and try to figure out what she was thinking. I felt a twinge of pain as I do, the last time she looked at me this intently I was lying on the road; her eyes still held the same captivating beauty though. She still doesn't answer me. She seems transfixed on staring at me. I began to grow uncomfortable under her scrutiny. "Alex?" my voice sounding clearer now.

Her gaze breaks and her eyes dart down and then back up to my eyes, she repeats the routine a few times and then removes her arm from my waist and sits up. My body immediately misses her warmth. But it quickly becomes distracted as she softly strokes my cheek with her hand; heat following her fingers. What is happening? Alex still hasn't said anything and I am just becoming more and more confused by the second. I was about to ask again but words quickly escape my brain as she begins to lean down, her face just a few inches away from mine. My breathing hitched and time seemed to slow. Her lips brush against mine and the butterflies that have been asleep are suddenly awake. I immediately respond and the accustomed ache takes on a new form as she deepens the kiss. My body grows lighter and lighter and my head starts to spin. She slowly pulls away and leans her forehead against mine, are noses still touching. A wide smile consumes her face, as she looks me intensely in the eyes again. I don't know what's happening but whatever it is, I am in no hurry to stop it. "I love you" She states simply with a satisfied smile on her face. Ok now I know I'm dreaming, or dead. Maybe I'm in heaven… Alex's fingers interlocking with mine pull me out of my thoughts. I blink a few times, shake my head and then pinch myself with my free hand. "Did you hear what I said?" She asks, looking slightly disappointed at my silence.

"Yea I..I heard, I'm just having trouble believing it" I say, my voice shakier than expected. Her thumb traces circles on my hand and a small smile plays on her lips. "Mitchie.." She begins but stops herself and takes a deep breathe, "I love you, I don't know how I didn't know it before but I do now. I'm 100%, completely, head over heels in love with you. I guess it's like they say, you never know what you've got until its gone, well almost gone… I get it if I'm too late or you if don't love me anymore after all of this. But seeing you there, lying on the road, blood everywhere; I've never felt more distraught. I needed you to survive. Without you I don't know what I'd do. I love you Mitchie" She gushes, almost like she's in a hurry to get it all out before I go away or something. Her words are still looping round and round in my head. I can hear the words but there not being processed. It seems to good to be true. Nobody gets everything they have ever wanted. What would make me so special? I clear my throat. "Alex, I think your just confused." It breaks my heart a little bit to say those words but she can't be in love with me, I don't deserve her. I look down, avoiding her extreme stare. "Mitchie, look at me" she puts her hand under my chin and forces me to look at her. "I've spent three weeks right here. Sat next to you, willing you to wake up. I've studied every feature of your face, every curve of your body and I'm in love with all of it. I'm not confused. I was confused before, I just didn't know it. But right here, looking at you. I've never seen more clearly. I will spend the rest of my life making up for the torture of loving me unrequitedly for four years; I couldn't even stand three weeks. I love you Mitchie Torres and I always will" before I could comprehend the enchanting words that were escaping her mouth. Her lips are on mine. It wasn't soft like the first one; it was confident and passionate. I place my hands on her hips and waste no time in returning the kiss. The combination of the kiss and her words still replaying in my head were making me lightheaded. I clung to her like my life depended on it. This is where I want to be, lost in everything that she is, forever. When she finally pulled back I wasted no time "I love you too Alex. I've loved you ever since I first saw you. Everything about you is breathe taking. I've been a prisoner, locked up in a state of unrequited love for you for a long time, but I had no intention of escape. For four years I've been in absolute anguish but the first four seconds of that kiss made up for all of the years. All the pain has been erased, I would go through another four years of for you. I'd wait forever, for you." I whisper to her and a small tear rolls down her cheek; I'm quick to wipe it away. "I put you through four years of hell, you were in a coma because of me. You're seriously saying it's all forgotten? Just like that?" She says looking down.

"Call me crazy" I say with a smirk. I grab her hand and put it over my heart "Feel that? Every beat is for you. I will protect you until it stops. Saving you from being hit by a car is something I had to do Alex, its not just you that couldn't live without someone" She puts her head up and looks at me. Her eyes glow and knowing it's for me makes my heart fly. "I love you" She says simply. "I love you too" I cup her face in my hands, close my eyes and tenderly kiss her forehead. She nestles into my chest and sighs deeply. I play with her hair and can't stop the smile that spreads across my face. I can't believe it. With every breath she takes against my chest, my heart fills. For the first time in a long time, I feel whole.

**Also just want to say happy birthday to the girl who inspired some of this story, thank you for reading it; even if you do demand updates everyday ;) Have a great day and i hope you liked this chapter x **


	11. Chapter 11

**So I think this is going to be the last chapter, I do have a few ideas for a sequel so if you guys would be interested in that just let me know. I also have a few ideas for new stories so I will be writing those to. As always thank you for the follows, favorites and reviews. You guys are so awesome! Review if you like it. Thanks! **

**Mitchie POV**

_*One month later*_

The past month has been the greatest of my life. I can't put into words how incredible it is to just be with Alex. To be able to stare at her without hiding it, to reach out and touch her cheek or her hand without any reservation. It was complete bliss. Of course I did have my doubts. I couldn't help but think that as soon as I was out of hospital she'd realize the feelings she thought she had for me were just misconstrued with feelings of friendship. I had voiced these concerns to her but she told me I was crazy. She told me she loved me and she made sure I knew it too. Every chance she got she would kiss me; my cheek, my forehead, my lips. Every time our fingers entangled she would graze her lips across my knuckles. It was pure ecstasy. _But _we still weren't officially girlfriend and girlfriend. I think it was kinda just a mutual understanding that we were together. I mean we told each other we loved each other, surely that means she's my girlfriend? Anyway I still want to make it official, I have the perfect plan. I look at my alarm clock and see that its 11:00AM, she should be awake by now. I reach for my phone and text her.

_**Morninggg! Want to do something today? x**_

My phone quickly buzzes with a reply.

_**Good morning baby, of course. What do you have in mind? x**_

_**It's a surprise. Just get dressed. I'll be there in 10. x**_

I throw my phone on the bed as I get up and walk towards my bathroom. I quickly brush my teeth and run a brush through my hair. I change into a t-shirt and black skinny jeans and throw on my favorite pair of boots. I walk into the kitchen and walk over to my mom and give her a kiss on the cheek.

"I like the new Mitchie" she says with a huge smile consuming her face. I let out a small laugh as I walk over to the fridge. Ever since Alex and I have been somewhat together I've changed entirely. I fall asleep with the biggest, face-eating grin on my face. I feel content and it hadn't gone unnoticed by my mom. I grab a piece of fruit as I walk out the door, yell goodbye to my mom and get into my new car. My mom surprised me with it when i got back from the hospital. I'm a little nervous. I know it's silly but she could still say no; I try and shake that though out of my head as I start the car. I drive the short drive to her house and try to calm my nerves. I pull up outside her drive and cant help but run my hand through my hair anxiously. I honk the horn to let her know I'm here. Almost instantaneously she's walking towards my car. She looks stunning, as always. She's wearing light jeans and a blue sweater; I swear she could wear a bin bag and I still wouldn't be able to keep my eyes of her. She gets in and I am immediately over come with her scent, and the surge of butterflies in my stomach begins to flutter like crazy. She turns her body in my direction and softly kisses me. She pulls back, still facing me, and a small smile dances on her face. "Hi" she says lightly, I've known her for four years and her British accent still makes me swoon, even though it was becoming less and less prominent now.

"Hey beautiful" I say with a wink, loving the way she blushes every time I call her that. She tries to hide the redness in her cheeks by looking down but fails massively.

"Will you please tell me where we're going?" She says looking up and giving me the best puppy dog look she can.

"Nope" I say popping the p as I start the car. She pouts her adorable lips knowing that it would usually cause me to cave but not today, this had to be a surprise. She crosses her arms over her chest and looks forward as I drive. It didn't take long to get there; as I parked I looked over at her and couldn't help but laugh at how bewildered she looks.

"Mitch, why the hell are we at school?" She asks, confusion clear in her tone.

"You'll see" I say as I get out the car. I walk round and open her door. She hops out and I take her hand in mine, I kiss the back of palm and smile against it. Boy I hope she says yes. I take her round to the back entrance, knowing it would be open. Miley's mom was the principal and after getting hit by a car on school grounds I figured she owed me a favor.

"Mitchie seriously, can't we get arrested for this?" Alex whispers, beginning to panic.

"Lex chill, it'll be fine"

I lead her through the corridors and then we reach our destination.

"Why the fuck are we in our old math room?"

I pull her over to the back of the classroom and signal for her to sit in her old seat. She does so and looks up at me puzzled. I stand in front of her and take a deep breath.

"Alex, four years ago you walked through that door and changed my whole life. I saw you and I felt like the wind had been kicked out of me. In this room I got to know you and the more I found out the more I fell. Everything about you is absolutely beautiful and it would devastate me if you ever thought over wise. For a long time I was in a really dark place but even then I kept going because just seeing you was enough. You were the reason I got up in the morning. You would always cheer me up and for a while I would forget all the pain. If it was you pouring water on my head or you singing to me, it always made me happy, even if it was just for a little while. The only difference now is, now I don't have a reason to be sad. I live my life for you, to protect you and make sure you get everything you've ever wanted. I could spend every single day of my life with you and it still wouldn't be enough. So Alex Russo, will you please be my girlfriend?" She looks at me and a small tear rolls down her cheek. She stands up and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Mitch, _you _are everything I've ever wanted. You've already given me that; I will never want anything or _anyone _else in my life." She breathes and rest her forehead against mine. "So yes, yes I will be your girlfriend" That's all it took. My lips crashed into hers and I pulled her into my body. I held onto her tight and a small moan escaped her throat. It only encouraged me further as I ran my tongue slowly against her bottom lip, begging for entrance. She immediately grants it and our tongues battle for dominance. My mind quickly becomes hazed and all I can concentrate on is the feeling of her lips on mine. I pull away from her, panting, and try to get my breathing back to normal. I take in her appearance, her cheeks are red and flustered and her eyes are glossed over with lust. She looks beautiful. I lean in and softly kiss her lips. She smiles against my lips and I can't help but do the same. She buries her head in the crook of my neck and my back tingles as her hot breath hits my skin. I can still feel her smiling as she whispers. "I love you, _girlfriend," _putting extra emphasis on the last word. My heart fills with sheer happiness. I run my hand through her hair and kiss the top of her head. Standing here, in our old math room, with her in my arms. I've never felt more...complete. Looking back at everything that has happened I don't regret one thing. This feeling, right now, it makes up for all of it. I could be hit by 100 cars, go through 100 years of absolute misery and I wouldn't care as long as I could hold her at the end of it all. As soon as she says those three words to me, nothing else matters. Alex fills the emptiness inside of me; her love goes to every part of my body and lifts it. As long as she loves me I will never be lost or down. I may have saved her life but she saved not only my life but my heart too. She's the light that brightens my world. I know that I will love her forever and knowing that she loves me too is beyond comprehension.

"Hey, you alright. You kinda zoned out for a second" she says reaching up and touching my cheek.

"Yea I'm fine, I'm more than fine. I'm perfect actually" I say smiling brightly at her.

"Oh really? Whys that?" she asks with a smirk.

"Because of you" I answer, her eyes gleam as she smiles up at me.

"I love you Mitchie" she says holding onto me tighter "And I'm never ever going to let go of you." I smile at the double meaning to that sentence. She looks up at me and there's something in her eyes that I can't explain but for some reason I knew, I knew that she meant every word she had said. The look in her eyes, is more than one of friendship, it's of pure love.

"Good because neither am I"

**Sooo there it is! Thank you for reading. **


End file.
